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Her eyes flashed with ideas
Mouth rapped; her crime, speaking
Heart quashed ‘neath bitter boot
Alone she worked, silenced

When folly or courage
Oft’ in equal measures
Brought spiteful wounds upon his breast,
Silent and alone, by tender touch, she healed him

And when she stood at last
Cried out for a turn to speak
Men and Gods forbade her
In the dark hollow of soul
She wept alone

There, I saw her
Raging silently in the night
Her voice and right, disavowed
Cheeks worn by tears and centuries

And I, with chivalrous design reached out
Erred intent to salve her stinging wounds
For which no balm save Liberty can heal
She rose, a Phoenix, an unbroken Atlas,
Shrugging away a  thankless world
As a sunrise o’er the mountains
Tears worn, a proud banner
She stands Independent
Aflame with courage
She, valiant Woman
Long silent Hero.
Speaks

5-6-2011

Where did I go,

Locked deep inside

Pain hurts so much

I just had to hide

I used to laugh

And have a great time

I had lots of friends

And lots of sunshine

Now I’m alone with just me inside

Lonely and sad

And locked deep inside

Missing myself

In search of me

Trying to let out, the hurt that trapped me

I want my laugh back

Where can it be?

How quickly time doth fly

His hair curly blonde and his eye’s full of blue,

He came into our lives’ so little and new,

He grabbed at our hearts we all loved him too,

But he wasn’t ours to keep but just for a while,

He lived in our home and stayed a long while

We loved and we laughed and we had a good time,

This little boy lost was gone in due time.

He went home to his mother where he wanted to be,

He left a hole in the middle of me,

But I’m happy to have the time he spent here,

And In my heart he will always be,

Sometimes I wonder,

Does he remember me?

Little boy lost where are you now.

For two years I loved him, felt the warmth of his little body in my arms

The beautiful smile the shine in his eyes when he looked at me,

His first birthday was a joy in my heart, he smeared frosting on my nose and we both laughed,

Our first Christmas was heaven as I watched his tiny fingers try to open the gift wrap,

The glow of Happiness I saw in his face

I wanted to be his father and see him grow,

I wanted to be his father and share in his glow,

His first day of school I wanted to know

I wanted to be his father as he grew up

But I didn’t get to be the father he knew,

He was stolen by his mother, with hatred inside

She told him I didn’t love him and filled him with lies.

A relationship stolen I had no control, my heart has been broken, I want him to know,

I wanted to be your father.

On the Gain and Value of College

One year into my college career, a swelling is growing inside. A sense that’s immense, of something much greater, of words and ideas all echoing close and intense. I’ve learned new confidence, fed by practiced competence, and a wakening awareness of something–many things–more.

For when I was a child, the kind who rarely smiled, such expansive futures were not to be–not for me. For I came from a place not so much full of grace, but of an empty, a doom and a dreary tomorrow or two.

Onto the campus I stepped with much fear, my heart thumping hard and afraid! And the sun lit up bright, showed me all would be right, just a little effort be made. I found new ways to open, new ways to see, new ideas to think on–and a new, better me. So class by class, I’ve gained a new sense of ID-of loved and unknown ones, all part and parcel of me.

Such values as these are rarely expressed, for it seems so unfair, to have their meanings compressed; but assured  may you rest that what I’ve gained from college is the quintessentially best.

Tales told and echoed through time
Demand!
Consideration of the eyes and thoughts and sentiments unseen
Who wept and cheered and laughed and bore horror’s torment.

Prose that winds the page like a coiled snake
Dangerous!
Fires set in hearts a century apart, joined in feeling
Yet split by a clock do minds twirl and race and excite by others long since dead

And thunder dwells ‘neath breast and nipple
Uncaged!
Never tamed, but for this fire inside, passed not by seed but word and deed
Alight! This sweet flame, this fickle bitch, this angry, loving, rich and poor
Beautiful monster inside
Destroyer of the world
Creator of the new
Tyrant and Liberator
Embittered and
Softened
Sculpted

Self.

On a happier note, we’ve new additions in the form of new cousins Rory and Sophia, born to my cousins Shawna and Deage respectively, in their lovely families (and pretty close together, too; one in December, the other in January.)

As for me, I’ve returned to school to study literature, philosophy and film as much as possible in the hopes of transferring to a good film school once I’ve finished at the CC level. In two days, a full year will have come and gone, and I’ve got to marvel at what a ride it’s been so far. Lots of fun, mountains of learning, and an ever growing sense of belonging in an academic environment. It’s weird, but I love it.

Now, however, it’s time for some poetry, and to kick things off right (and meet a creative project requirement for a course) I’ll do something unique: Post a brand new poem.

Yeah, umm…be afraid.